My Dad..............

 It's time for another post, and I apologise in advance that this will be long and photo heavy. It is a blog post specifically to record this event in my life so that it will be included in my blog book to be printed at the end of this year.

I have been in Murray Bridge for a week and half now, being with my family as Dad deteriorated and died peacefully on the 24th October, 2020. There have been visiting restrictions in place at the nursing home in recent months, with no visitors at all for some weeks, and then only 2 visitors a day. After he went into Palliative Care the family gathered with no limits, and there was up to 12 or 14 at times in the room with him. So many family stories were shared and it was a very special time as we said our farewells, and I am sure that he was able to hear us all. 

EULOGY – MY DAD 

 Dad (Murray) was born on the 3^rd June 1932 in Murray Bridge, and was an only child. He lived with his parents on the family farm at Brinkley that his great grandfather had purchased in 1910. He attended the Mobilong South School and rode his bike about 2 miles there and back again each day. Later he went to the Brinkley School and rode his pony called Dolly. It was here that he became friends with Mum and her siblings, which totalled 10 children.

During his younger years he enjoyed rabbit trapping, climbing trees and collecting bird’s eggs, and we still have large collection of eggs from different birds, all neatly displayed in his mother’s cutlery box sitting on cotton wool. During the war years, the school children collected for the SPF (School Patriotic Fund) and Murray spent many hours with the horse and dray gathering old metal, as well as bones and wool from dead sheep. He was awarded many badges for this that we still have today.

Murray was very musical and played the fife, banjo, mouth organ and piano accordion and enjoyed many evening sing songs around the pianola piano with friends and family.

In their teenage years Mum's family and friends spent many holidays camping at Normanville. Things developed romantically between Dad and Mum and 4 years later, at the age of 21 they were married. Now Dad was not an only child as he had inherited Mum's whole family and they have all enjoyed many family gatherings and holidays together over the years.

Mum and Dad started their life together in a 4 room house near the family farm and Dad went off early each morning to work clearing a block of land that his father had bought for him which adjoined the original farm at Brinkley. He spent hours clearing with the crawler tractor and the noise without ear muffs probably led to his hearing difficulties in later years. After the land was cleared, he worked all the land with his father and later his sons.

Dad and Mum had 5 children and now have 15 grandchildren and 19 great grandchildren. Weekends were always set aside for sport, family and church. Tuesday nights were regular card nights with friends and neighbours. Dad was keen on sport and played football, tennis and table tennis as well as supporting his children in their sporting activities. Regular caravan holidays were enjoyed with the family. In 1986 they purchased the red Pajero and spent many years exploring many parts of Australia as grey nomads. The red Pajero is still being driven by one of the grandsons now, 34 years later.

He taught Mum to drive after they were married, and went on to teach his 5 children, and many of his grandchildren. They practiced in the farm paddocks and many of them trained by driving around the hay bales. He enjoyed the visits from his children and their children over the years and each have special memories to share.

Dad was involved in many organisations over the years, including driving for Meals on Wheels, Men’s Agricultural Bureau and Brinkley Tennis Club. He also belonged to the Imperial Football Club and was the timekeeper for many years. (As the hearse carrying Dad left the service, the siren was sounded one final time for him.)

Dad and Mum retired to Murray Bridge at the age of 74, and spent much time walking around the local area and knew all the coffee shops in the town.

Sadly Dad slowly developed dementia and after a few years of being cared for at home by Mum, he was admitted to the Lerwin Nursing Home in March 2019. The wonderful staff cared for him well and we have heard many stories from the staff about his sense of humour and his love for his family as well as his enjoyment of a glass of red. He died peacefully on Saturday, October 24^th, 2020, after knowing Mum for 80 years and 67 years of happy marriage, and has left us all with many wonderful memories.

(Isn't this a cute little girl?? LOL! Not too sure what happened over the years??)

MY MEMORIES

Looking back on my childhood I have to say that I am blessed to have a lot of happy memories.

Dad was a good and hardworking farmer,  general handyman, builder and “fixer upper” of most things as well as mechanical repairs on our vehicles and machinery. But he also took time for his family, being involved in and taking us to our sports, Sunday school and other activities.

 We had some great holidays over the years, and I remember the Friday afternoons when dad came inside at 4pm and announced to us all that if we could be ready in an hour we would take the caravan to the beach, to either Victor Harbour, Pt Elliot or Goolwa for the weekend.  Probably to keep 4 children occupied, we played the game of “I Spy with my little eye, and it starts with…..” We sang songs such as "Ten green bottles hanging on the wall" and "Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag". And as we got close to our destination there was a race to see who could say “I can see the sea!” first……We also had a lot of weekends in the city with the Mum's sisters family and as we came through the hills and down into the city us country kids were amazed at the city lights all spread out along the streets. As a special treat Dad drove us down Rundle street at night so that we could see all the city shops lit up.

The 8 foot long kitchen table that Dad built was the scene for many family and extended family meals …. which brings me to the story about the cream…… we had a milking cow and separated the milk… and if you turned the handle of the separator really fast, the cream was really thick and you had to cut it with a knife to spread on your bread and jam,….. and while sitting at this table with some of the city cousins they couldn’t believe that it was so thick… and quick as a flash Dad told them it was Bull’s cream!! And they believed that for a long time!

We used to ride our 2 wheeler bikes up the track to the bus stop (about ¾ mile) and he spent a lot of time mending our tyres to keep us mobile, until the day we had an old car to drive to the bus instead….

Our piano had belonged to Dad’s grandmother Heinicke and I was sent to piano lessons for 5 years. I hated the practice and when I moaned about it, he would say, you will thank me one day….. Even though I don’t play much these days, I am thankful that I know how to play, so THANKYOU Dad.

When I was about 12 (I am the oldest) Dad packed us up and we set off on a family holiday to Queensland to visit our rellies. (Mum had 2 brothers living there and Dad had 2 cousins). Mum and I slept each night in the station wagon and Dad and my 3 brothers slept in a tent. (This was in the time before I had a sister). The first night in Queensland we camped in a park at Dalby, and it rained, and rained and the creek flooded and the guys in the tent got very wet. I remember all 6 of us packed into the station wagon and driving around Dalby at 3am!! It was a bit too close for comfort, but certainly an event that we talked about for years.

When Dad taught me to drive it was in the jeep and out in the front paddock, and I had a lot of trouble stopping without jumping the clutch and it stalled so we had to repeat this over and over until I eventually got it right,… then he said drive back to the workshop and park behind the truck…. But guess who jumped the clutch as she stopped and hit the back of the truck…… and it was another 6 months before I got another lesson!

In later years after I was married, Dad always helped us out each time we moved properties, and I have to say he was an accomplished packer of the truck and managed to fit everything on. Dad always made time to help on our farms at shearing and harvest time and he looked after all our cattle for 9 months when we were between farms. More recently he did many jobs for me at the Bordertown house, such as plumbing, fencing, building a work bench in the shed for Brad and he always checked on my car tires when I called into the Hill St house in Murray Bridge on my way home from Adelaide.

In his quiet, unassuming way he supported and validated us all. Although our family was not big into being demonstrative with lots of hugs and kisses and no verbal “I love you’s”, Dad’s love for us showed in his actions and he will missed a lot by all of us. He is now at Peace and in God’s loving care.

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                                      On the map below, all the dark lines represent the roads they travelled as                             grey nomads in the Red Pajero.

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                                                      This is a photo of the family farm. 

                           (was a bit hard to photograph without the reflection on the glass of the frame)

This photo was taken when Dad and my brothers delivered a load of hay from the family farm to Neville's and my dairy farm on the river.

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The family has spent this week going through photos, and there were hundreds shown on the screen at the funeral, and I have picked out just a few of Dad and my family.

This is Tate Murray, named after my Dad, and we love the fact they are both holding up their arms in the same position and look as though they are sharing a good story with each other!

                                       And now a few pics with my siblings.....................

                                           This is the last family photo taken last Christmas.

 This one was taken at Mum and Dad's 60th wedding anniversary with all the grandchildren and great grandchildren that were around at that time.

On Friday, we had a celebration of Dad's life at the local football clubrooms and each family had some great memories to share. I surprised myself by standing up with 3 of my grandchildren and sharing my stories from above. A public speaker I am not, and I know that it was not by my own strength that I could do this.

We were sad that DD3 was unable to be with us due to the border closure between our state and the next, but very thankful that modern technology enabled the service to be live streamed, and she could share with us as it was happening. There were many other cousins who live in other states that watched on as well.

Farewell Dad, we will miss you, and look after Mum for you.   xxx

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Thankyou if you have read through all this. While there has been sadness, there is also a relief that Dad is no longer confused with dementia and in pain. He lived a good life and had 88 years with mostly good health and great family times. Mum has been settled into her new place for about 2 months now and we know that God is in control and leading us through. 

I am returning home tomorrow and Mum is coming back with me for a few days of R and R. I have an awful lot of quilts waiting in the queue, but am thinking and hoping that they might wait a bit longer, as we take a bit more time to process all this and spend a relaxing week chatting, visiting, having coffees, reading, looking at photos and perhaps even time in the garden??

Hope life in your world is good, that the birds are singing, and the sun is shining.

Blessings, From Jude